FOR POLYAMOROUS AND ETHICALLY NON-MONOGAMOUS ADULTS AND COUPLES

Therapy for Alternative Lifestyles in Grand Rapids

and across Michigan

Create the relationship you want, in the way that fits you best.

Mainstream society can send us strong messages about what embodies healthy and appropriate relationships.

Those of us who live lifestyles that don’t conform to those expectations may have trouble finding a therapist who understands. You don’t want your relationship invalidated, your desires minimized, or to be led down the conventional path that doesn’t click with who you are.

Maybe you’ve met someone in the poly dating community and are trying to figure out if this lifestyle is right for you. Perhaps you’re curious about opening your partnership or marriage and want guidance from a professional as you take these steps. Or you’ve been in the lifestyle for a while now but something has happened that damaged your trust and bond with your partner and now you need to slow down as you make repairs.

You see the benefits of this lifestyle but there are times you just can’t shake the fearful or insecure pit in your stomach. Maybe you’ve been an emotional wreck lately when touchy topics come up, overwhelmed with anger, rage, or anxiety.

AND NOW YOU MAY…

  • Be jealous when you think about your partner being intimate with someone else

  • Feel lost in how to reassure your partner or you worry about upsetting them

  • Argue about dating new people, rules for sexual safety, or the agreements you both share

  • Want to break the pattern of dreading or avoiding certain conversations

At first it seemed like this lifestyle would give you more autonomy to be who you are, but now you just have the same argument over and over. You may not know how to get to where you want to be, but you hope to find someone who can help.

I’m ready to get started.

Ultimate freedom is our reward for wading through what terrifies us, excites us, and ignites us about living our unapologetic and authentic lives.

HOW IT WORKS

My Approach to Therapy for Alternative Lifestyles

Despite polyamory and ethical non-monogamy (ENM) gaining more attention in the media and society at large, there’s still a lot of stigma and misinformation out there. That’s why my approach to working with your alternative lifestyle includes supporting the sex and relationship dynamics that are meaningful to you.

Through a sex-positive and trauma-informed lens, I strive to create an inclusive space for my clients to explore their interests, mend betrayals, and develop deeper insight into what constitutes healthy choices for them. My goal is to understand you - not shame you, judge you, belittle you, or pathologize your interests. Whatever feelings you’re struggling with or any mistakes you’ve made along the way, you deserve therapy that is safe, informed, and validating.

With a focus on autonomy, education, and consent, together we’ll explore aspects of your non-monogamous lifestyle that are important to you, without it being a problem area that needs to be “fixed.” Your gender, sexual orientation, relationship style, sexual preferences, and cultural background all have a place in my practice.

Therapy with me can help you…

  • learn about polyamorous and ENM dynamics and explore what’s right for you

  • identify boundaries you and your partner are both on board with

  • communicate with warmth and empathy, not defensiveness or blame

  • overcome trauma and emotional triggers that claim power in your body

  • feel more secure in your union and emotionally connected to your partner(s)

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THERAPY FOR ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES

FAQs

  • As your therapist, I can help you manage:

    • jealousy, insecurity, inadequacy, fear, or anger

    • thoughts of being left out or replaced

    • NRE (new relationship energy)

    • living situations and cohabitation conflict

    • social stigma and coming out to friends or family

    Or you can learn how to:

    • enhance connection or rekindle passion with one or more partners

    • adjust to someone entering or exiting your polycule

    • identify and navigate boundaries and safe-sex practices

    • balance time between partners

    • communicate with guards down and without defensiveness

    • determine if an ENM lifestyle is ultimately not for you

  • Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella term that describes intimate or sexual relations with more than one person with the knowledge and consent of all involved. (An example of un-ethical non-monogamy is cheating.)

    One form of ENM is polyamory, or the practice of having multiple meaningful and intimate relationships at the same time. While the specific relationship structures vary widely, the common thread in polyamorous partnerships is that all parties are aware of and consent to the dynamic.

    Other types of ENM are swinging or relationship anarchy.

  • I recognize that many of the concerns my ENM clients bring to therapy are not directly caused by non-monogamy itself. They're caused by poor communication, unhealed trauma, assumed gender dynamics, lack of boundaries, and low self-esteem - all of which are also experienced by monogamous couples.

    You lead the work on determining what relationship style and sexual dynamics fit you and your partnership best. I won't try to persuade you to monogamy or suggest there's something unnatural or immoral about your lifestyle - because there's not.

Have you considered the Rekindle the Spark:
Couples & Sex Therapy Intensive?

  • An Intensive is a focused, multi-hour, accelerated form of couples therapy

  • Uniquely tailored to your therapy goals

  • Avoid a long-term weekly commitment or lengthy gaps between sessions

  • Perfect for busy couples or parents who need to maximize their time

You get to choose the life you live.

MAKE SURE IT’S ONE THAT YOU’RE EXCITED ABOUT!